If you have been asked to be a best man for the first time, you may be feeling overwhelmed and not quite sure of what the job entails. Below is a list of the traditional duties of the best man, both before the wedding and on the day itself:
Organise the bachelor party - For some this is the most important best man duty!
The bachelor party usually takes place a few days before the wedding (to give the groom time to recover) and may take the form of drinks in a pub, a formal dinner or some form of paid entertainment! As best man, you presumably know the groom well; and therefore know his preferences and what his idea of fun will be. (Remember that you have been chosen because you are reliable and trustworthy). Also take into account the cost of the party and what the groom and male guests can afford to spend.
Choose the suits for the male members of the wedding party.
This is where the best man can be a great help to the groom. You will have to visit the suit hire establishment for a fitting and contact the other groomsmen to do the same. You can offer to collect the suits before the wedding, as well as return them the following day.
Be available to help with the wedding preparations.
The best man should be around to help with any last-minute details like fetching guests from airports, collecting the rings etc. These small gestures will be greatly appreciated and prove that the duty of the best man is not just to look cool in a suit to impress the bridesmaids.
Organise the bridal party's transport to and from the wedding.
The bridal couple will have already booked their wedding transport, but you can make final arrangements, such as picking up keys, delegating drivers and having the cars washed. This is an important best man duty, as you will be responsible for ensuring that their lifts arrive on time, thus minimising any undue stress.
On the wedding day - get him to the church on time.
On the big day, the best man is in charge of the groom, right until he gets to the alter to wait for his bride. It is your duty to ensure that the groom is as relaxed as possible (but not so relaxed that he passes out before the ceremony). The best man helps the groom to get dressed and of course, to get to the church or venue where the ceremony is taking place, on time. Another important best man duty: make sure the rings are not forgotten!
Best man duties at the church.
The best man needs to make sure that the male members of the wedding party have their buttonholes. The best man is also usually involved in the signing of the register after the ceremony. This entails signing as a witness to the event. You will probably also be given the money to pay the marriage officer or the minister, and organist or musicians, for their services.
The best man's role at the reception.
You will usually be seated at the main table, next to the groom (on the other side of the bride, of course) as you will have the duty of toasting the bride and groom, as well as the bridesmaids. For help with what to say, click here for our article on wedding or click here for the essential guide to best man speeches.
The best man will also be required to organise the order of the other toasts or speeches (and make sure they don't go on forever), escort the matron of honour or chief bridesmaid to the main table and dance with her if there is a formal opening dance. (Some best men also see it as their duty to console the bridesmaid who gets weepy at weddings at the thought of still being single. This is entirely up to you and not advisable if you are not single yourself!)
Generally, the best man should be a sociable and articulate sort; he needs to be able to chat to the guests, make sure the wedding party is relaxed and knows what to do, and give a good speech. Being asked to be the best man at a wedding does involve a bit of work, but it is a great honour and a lot of fun too.
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