The wedding shower - Creating special memories for the bride-to-be

The task of organizing a wedding or bridal shower (a.k.a. Kitchen Tea) is usually the duty of the bridesmaids or matron of honour, and the onus is also on them to make it a fun and memorable event for the bride-to-be.

Wedding showers can take many forms - from the good old kitchen tea to a hen's weekend away; the aim is to get together for a good time (and shower the girl getting married with lots of useful presents).

Choosing a wedding shower gift theme

The traditional wedding shower present list usually features household items - mainly for the kitchen - but you don't have to stick with tradition. As her friends, you might feel that kitchen utensils are either too sexist, too boring, or the couple may have been living together for years and have everything they need.

Then you can have fun with the gift list and ask guests to bring lingerie, spices or exotic foodstuffs. Or you can even have a pamper party. This is a wedding shower with a difference - presents can take the form of anything luxurious to pamper the body or soul; bath oils, body lotions, scented candles or perfumes are just a few examples - and it could be held at a spa.

The surprise element

The bride-to-be normally doesn't know about the wedding shower. She will probably have a fair idea that her friends will give her a party, but she won't know where or when it will happen. If you're hosting the wedding shower at your home, tell the guests to get there early and park around the corner so she won't be suspicious when she arrives. If you're all meeting at a bar or restaurant, this will be even easier, and she won't suspect anything if you casually invite her out for dinner one night.

Her wedding shower outfit

Dress her up in a silly outfit - the more ridiculous the better. It's a night for a bit of fun at her expense and most brides have been to plenty of wedding showers and know that it's all part of the experience.

However, if you're going out in public, remember to be a bit sensitive to her feelings - if she's the conservative type she may be too uncomfortable in that French maid uniform with a tiny skirt and suspenders, to have a good time. And if you dress her up as a frumpy housekeeper with an apron and a 'doek' on her head, she might feel really unattractive (not to mention hot and sweaty) if you take her clubbing!

The entertainment

Wedding showers can be as tame or as wild as you, as the planner, chooses. Just keep in mind the type of guests you plan to invite. If her granny, spinster aunts and old school headmistress are going to be there, weigh up whether they will appreciate a male stripper - even if you only mean it as a joke.

Generally you will also know the likes and dislikes of the bride-to-be and what kind of wedding shower she would enjoy most. A raucous night on the town might not be her scene and lunch or dinner at a beautiful restaurant, coffee and cake at someone's home, or a weekend camping trip can all be good fun.

Wedding showers are an opportunity for the bride-to-be to let her hair down, relax and spend quality time with her girlfriends and female members of her family for the last time as a single woman. Good luck, enjoy the planning and have a fabulous time

Log on to these useful web sites to give you more wedding shower ideas:

• BacheloretteParty.co.za - A South African company that will organize a wild night out for you and your friends.
• Upcoy.com - More ideas for a great wedding shower.

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By Sasha Wyatt-Minter