Exchanging wedding vows is the most important part of the wedding ceremony. You need to plan what you're going to say when you're standing before the alter making your vows. Don't know where to start? Here's some help…
This is the moment when you tell your partner not just how much you love them, but how you're going to spend the rest of your life cherishing them and proving your feelings. Wedding vows are a sacred promise between two people and your guests will be witnesses to these vows.
There are a number of choices available to you. You may decide to use the standard wedding vows offered by your church, you may enlist help from a published collection of traditional or contemporary vows (see www.myweddingvows.com), or you can be unique and original and write your own wedding vows.
Don't be afraid to express your feelings
Most people have never written wedding vows before and may struggle to put their feelings into words. The vows you make to your partner are a personal declaration of your love and commitment and at first you may feel shy or awkward about expressing your feelings in front of your guests. Remember that you are speaking to your partner, and making these vows to him or her, so look into your beloved's eyes when you speak and the rest of the world will cease to exist.
Although this is a personal exchange between the two of you, speak clearly so your words can be heard by everybody; you have chosen to utter them in front of friends and family because you want everyone to know how proud you are to be committing yourself to your partner.
Writing your wedding vows - together or separate?
You may want to write your wedding vows together and say the same thing to each other or you might want to each write a different version, with appropriate personal names for, or anecdotes about, the other person. Practice saying them aloud before the ceremony, either to each other, or to a third party if you want to keep the words a surprise. Make sure you haven't written anything you would be embarrassed to say in front of everyone - you want to be clear and distinct, not mumbling your way through them because you don't want anyone to know that you call your partner "Pookie"…
Adding a joke at the end often helps your partner to relax (as long as you have included plenty of romance already). You can promise to put the seat down or shower first in the mornings so they can lie in for a bit…whatever is relevant to your situation and shows thoughtfulness on your part. If you want to display your humorous side by reciting a whole set of funny vows, be inspired by Dr. Seuss by clicking here.
Personalized wedding vows?
Don't be afraid to personalize your wedding vows - the time and effort taken to do this will be appreciated by your spouse for years to come. Speak from the heart and at this moment in your life, the words will flow. If you're stuck trying to find a way to start, begin by telling your partner why you love them and how they've changed your life.
A word of advice though: have someone record the wedding vows - either on camera or just an audio recording if you find cameras too invasive for this private moment. Some couples are so nervous when they're reciting their vows, they don't remember much of what was said afterwards, or you may have found the words so touching you just want to hear them over and over again. Years later, playing that tape again will help you to recapture how you felt the day you vowed that your love would last forever.
Wedding vow resources
For more help on writing your own vows go to Instantweddingvow.com and choose from 25 quick and simple templates.